Over 1000 updates from the Dragonfly database (the CMS that ran the site before I moved to Joomla).
Apparently at some point the post dates got fucked, but I anal-retentively went through and pulled dates (a couple are approximate) from a SQL dump from 2009. At least that should fix the order. Really, I should manage to figure out how to reverse the order on all these super-ancient posts so they read more intelligently.